I have cancer.
Dr. Besold was quick to tell me that the biopsy showed the lump was cancer. She said, “we don’t have the whole pathology back yet, but there is enough to know it is cancer and it needs to come out.”
I was bracing myself for this. I knew when they called to TELL me I needed to come into the office that the news was bad.
She said this was by no means a “death sentence.” I’m holding onto that phrase.
She personally made appointments with an oncologist on Monday and a surgeon on Tuesday. She said it’s unusual to see the oncologist before the surgeon, but she took the first appointments she could get with each doctor. She said she wants me to get treatment fast.
She spoke positively about the fact that I had come to see her so soon. I had the first pain on Feb. 18 and here it is just one month later and I not only have a diagnosis, I have appointments in just a few days with doctors to treat it. She commended me for coming in when I had pain and not ignoring the pain. We discussed this with her at length and she said there is a sort of “rule of thumb” that breast cancer doesn’t come with pain, so this whole problem could easily have been dismissed. And with my age (just 34), I’m too young to get regular mammograms, so it could have been many months down the road before I found the spot myself. My annual exam is in June, so that would have been the earliest this would have been found had I not had some pain and took notice of it.
Before she came into the exam room, they left Troy and I alone just a little too long. My anxiety level was extreme and as we waited, it just went through the roof. I had a total “I have to run” moment. I jumped up and told Troy I had to leave, then started pacing. She opened the door at that moment. Another 30 seconds and I would have been out of there. Everything in my body was telling me to run.
We drove to Terre Haute to tell our parents. This has been a long, rough day.
I have cancer. I have cancer. I have cancer. This is so bizarre.